Mother's love

Here is another story of a boy, named Tonoy, who was suffering from Muscular Dystrophy and had suffered from gait disorder from early ages. When he was detected to be suffering from the irreversible disease, his mother, an women of immense strength and innumerable patience accepted the truth with equanimity and commendable spirit. She has chalked out a plan to enroll Tonoy in a school and Tonoy started his education with the help from his mother who was his constant companion. Since they didn't have a car, Tonoy's mom used to carry him and take him to school in a rickshaw. Tonoy was extremely bright and always fared good in class and his mother had dreamt about him and keen on giving him the best education despite all the difficulties. With advancing age, Tonoy's condition has worsened and his mom with her characteristic strength took the emotional as well as physical hardship in her strides and from early morning, right from feeding, bathing, reading, and dressing Tonoy, she used to carry some 60 kg heavy Tonoy to the rickshaw everyday and go with him to put him in school. Then it was time for Tonoy to appear for the board exam and with mom as his constant support he came out with flying colours securing more than 70% in the exam. It was a tremendous feat for a boy who started losing sensation of his muscles and even holding the pen had been an effort for him. The most spectacular thing about this utterly moving display of love is the fact that all this while, Tonoy's mom made a documentary about her time spent with this special child and i got the opportunity to see the movie. Not only me but the whole of the audience was moved to tears, to see a mom's heavenly and undying love for her son. Tonoy died 3 years back but through his mom's loving care, he he lived life in the best possible way..

Need we be a Phoenix ?

Do you believe in phrases like "rising from the ashes"? It is something like when you see death in the face, and come out of it alive and it feels like you are reborn and you look at life from a new angle which till then you refused to acknowledge or see. I have seen people in my life who after experiencing great loss or after a near death experience have changed in a profound way. It is like life has taken a completely different turn for the better. The words of wisdom so much heard and read before starts giving real meaning and the person actually starts living a life of wisdom, mellows down and becomes humble and grounded. One comes out tougher and can face the adversities of life with calm and matter of fact way. It is strange that people don't realize certain things in life unless they experience the transiency of life through some adverse situations. Does it mean such experiences are necessary to comprehend the way we should view life? Not at all..What I think necessary is for people to realize about the philosophy of life through day to day experience, however mundane those experiences seem to be..People now a days are working at tremendous pace without so much as pausing for breathe. It is no wonder then that they miss out the opportunities of enriching their life through real life situation just because they don't have time to pause and reflect. What I feel at this juncture is that we should take life one day at a time and take time to look around, reflect, comprehend, and act on certain situation which can give a deeper meaning to our life. We don't need an accident or some disaster to jolt us to reality..we need to comprehend the inherent meaning of life through our normal life situation so that we get constantly enriched and are elevated to a higher state of mind through our wisdom and action.

Life throws some surprises at the most unexpected times. When the going seems pretty smooth and uneventful, all of a sudden destiny's hand can play the most cruelest of jokes on our lives. I have a cousin sister who got married when she was at her late 30s. With a lovely boy, they had a happy content life. She didn't have much demand for luxury and was content with whatever she had and kept her house immaculately clean. The boy started school and like any other boy of his age,he tried mom's patience with delinquency in study, and was obsessed with cricket. My sister although scolded him from time to time, like any other mom, it was only on the surface. Her son was her life.

Then one day, the cute boy had developed mild fever. Doc said it is due to thyroid gland problem. He was given medicine and was all right for a while, but this mild fever started happening quite often and my sister got worried this time. She could also detect certain anomaly in her boy's gait. Some tests had been carried out and the result was something so shocking that all of us were too numb to react. Doctor said that the boy is suffering from a very rare form of disease called ALD (adrenoleukodystrophy). Doctor called it an inherited disorder that lead to progressive brain damage, failure of the adrenal glands and eventually death. He was immediately taken to Bangalore, then to Chennai and he started treatment after treatment but the deterioration seemed to be irreversible. My sister wanted to put him in school again hoping that perhaps he will get better. But he was not in a position to walk even and slowly degeneration has started taking its toll. His movement became restricted and gradually he needed help to carry out simple tasks. Then his eyesight deteriorated and eventually he was completely blind. His sensory power, his hearing all has gone and now he is completely bedridden, unable to recongize anyone, not even my touch or smell. I often think about that lovely boy and what he has become now and I feel a terrible void. I feel like consoling by sister but can't do that either knowing that it will not make the situation any better. But I really admire the courage shown by my sister during all these years of her sufferings, sorrows and anguish. She is a very proud soul and never show her tears in the open to anyone. So whenever anything about her boy crops up in any discussion, she never betrayed any emotion but always cried silently. I feel so much pain when I see her sorrowful eyes but as i know that she wouldn't want me to console her, I don't discuss anything about her son. She has taken recourse to Soka Gakai group therapy for universal healing. With faith she practice chanting Lotus Sutra rigorously. She knows that her darling boy will eventually perish but chanting gave her inner strength and a kind of tranquility to face the most difficult situation in life. She looks so much composed even if she could hardly sleep at night. I greatly admire my sister for accepting the things as it is now. She is waiting for the inevitable but not with dread but with acceptance...

Can we change our destiny?

The whole incident took everyone who knew this family by shock. As Sengupta family stayed in a campus locality, all the neighbours gathered at their place after hearing the tragic news. Their quarter had to be opened with spare key and the house was in total chaos. Gas stove was on, bed was unmade and books and toys scattered everywhere. It showed the great haste before their departure. As shamir was known to be a speedy driver, his friends advised him not to take his own car this time but he never heeded their advise and what a price he paid for it.

Raima was admitted in a hospital with trauma and broken arm. She was never brought to the campus and was taken straight to Kolkata to her paternal grandparents. Later she was under the care of her uncle and aunt but according to sources close to the Senguptas, nobody ever cajoled and coaxed her to have her meals anymore, and the delicate and dotting girl was suddenly thrown into the harsh reality of life. She came to the campus once to visit some families, but her beautiful smile was gone forever and her melancholic and soulful expression mirrored her inner turmoil and loss. She remembered her house distinctly and told the new occupant that it was where she lived earlier and that she would like to go in once. Nobody could refuse her and waited with bated breathe for her reaction. But she didn’t betray any emotion and her face was totally blank. Even she failed to recongise some children who were her play partners. May be subconsiously she wanted to block her past life that was linked to her happier times with her lovely parents who meant the world to her and for whom she was the world. For Raima, life’s fatal and cruelest blow at such a tender age made her numb and devoid of emotion. The beautiful, vibrant girl, with a single stroke of fate, has turned into an inert self, with all her exuberance gone. To us, she is a constant reminder of the fact that transiency is thy name of life.

Can we change our destiny? (continued)

As an academician, he had to attend numerous conferences and workshops, both within India and abroad. Although many a time he wanted to take his family along, but due to financial constraint it never materialized. Then came an opportunity to take his family along, when he got a call to attend a conference in Bangladesh. As Bangladesh border was just three hours away from the place he was working, he planned to take his family along this time. They planned to take their car to the border post and from there to cross over to Bangladesh. Sharmishta was so excited about the trip that she told her colleagues in school that she can bring beautiful dhakai jamdani sarees for them if they wanted. Literally beaming, she told fellow teachers jokingly that that was supposed to be her first trip abroad.

The day they were to leave, was terribly hectic as Sharmistha had exam duty till 2 o’clock in the afternoon. They left in a hurry as they were supposed to reach the Bangladesh border, located in Dawki, Meghalaya, before dusk. The road was treacherously curvy, narrow, and tricky and shamir was driving at a great speed. As it was the first week of January, visibility was poor after 3 o’clock which was further aggravated due to constant drizzle. Then occurred the fatal error of judgment; Shamir overtook a truck and he failed to see the incoming bus. However hard he tried to ram on his break, he knew what was inevitable at that moment. The bus driver too, seeing the impending disaster, tried to swarve but the road was too narrow and the bus rammed into the car killing Shamir and Sharmistha instantly. Raima was sleeping at the back seat, and the impact hurtled her below the seat, where she was found later, unconscious and with a broken arm, but alive and orphaned.

Can we change our destiny??

Raima was a seven year old lovely and bubbly girl who stayed in our neighbourhood. With her fair skin and large dreamy eyes, she radiated angelic charm. Raima never really had to crave for love which, she received in abundance from her parents, and from her maternal uncles and aunts. The adulation and affection showered on her by her mausis and and mamas was also due to the fact that she was the only niece from maternal side and was understandably pampered and dotted on. She was always showered with girly and dainty stuffs like frilly frocks, barbie dolls and accessories, trendy hairpins, satiny sequined sling bags and also shoes of different colours to match her dresses. Her mother, Sharmistha was a school teacher, but despite her busy schedule, she always managed to bathe, feed and dress Raima, although children of her age in the neighbourhood, managed their chores on their own. Her bedroom wall was pasted with pink barbie wall papers with matching pink satin curtains in the windows. Stuffed dolls of all sizes and shapes were scattered all around her room but all she cared and loved among her toys was a bald headed big eyed doll which she used to carry everywhere.

Raima’s father, Shamir Sengupta, was a professor in the department of Physics in a technical institute of repute. A highly academic person, he was always buried neck deep with his book and was not the kind of person to socialize. Sharmistha, on the contrary, was a vivacious and attractive lady with a kind of exuberance that was infectious. She would complain often that Shamir was so much lost in his academic world that he never remembered their anniversary and birthdays. But when it comes to his daughter, it was as if all his dorment love surfaced and he would become a dotting father. It was amazing to see an over-studious person like Shamir feeding his daughter (who was a fussy eater) with full devotion and patience, sometimes even missing some important meeting in the process. (to be continued)...